we are getting closer and closer to hover boards
help me, i am trapped
in a haiku factory
save me, before they
photos by chris fallows of great whites hunting seals in false bay, south africa. the seals, however, are far from defenseless, and manage to get away as often as they are caught, with some chases lasting five minutes. the agility and stamina of the seal help to counter the speed and power of the shark - speed and power which enables the shark to launch its two thousand pound body up to ten feet in the air. (more shark photos)
ok let me explain this picture. what you’re looking at is special in that it’s human failure in its rawest form.
so i’m quite sleep-deprived at the moment and we are out of instant mac and cheese so i was like “i’m going to be fucking healthy and make a sandwich with plants in it”.
so i got a plate. and i put some bread on it. and i found some vegetables and put that also on the plate. i cut the carrot in half because i don’t know.
and at this point i’m staring at half a carrot and some cauliflower on some bread thinking, “there is probably more to this process, isn’t there. shit i dunno”
and that’s when i realized the extent of my own ineptitude. i do not intuitively know how to make a fucking sandwich. that is half a carrot on some bread, why did i think that would make a sandwich. and then i started to laugh the kind of laugh that i think people make right before they turn into serial killers. and then i took a photo of the stupidest fucking sandwich imaginable.
(i recalled that you add mayonnaise and meat and cheese but i had a little crisis first. am eating sandwich now, vegetables are side dish. it’s ok)
cause of death: too shy to call ambulance
Didn’t want to inconvenience anyone
Someone else might have needed it more
parents: i want the truth
me: *tells truth*
parents: nope youre lying wrong answer
you have no idea the lengths I went to to find this gif set.
guys remember when Lemony Snicket filled an entire page with evers?
Who cares about the page filled with evers? Lemony Snicket just made two whole pages black.
He don’t give a shit.
And that time he repeated an entire passage about deja vu to give the reader deja vu
What a serious of unnecessary events